i feel almost as if i dont care about anything anymore, mostly school. but i know that i actually really do care because i know that i want to succeed in life, and do what i love. i cant wait till this semester is over so i can take music classes and actually care about going to class. i played halo till like 230 last night and woke up kinda at 1030 but i just didnt feel like waking up at all so went back to sleep. i dunno. i NEED to drop my online art class because i havent looked at the fuckin site since i dropped my other online class. my mom is gonna kill me. my room is a fuckin mess and i feel like a pig, i need a cleaning lady again but of course since my mom lives in manahawkin she doesnt give a shit about it. i loved the weather today it was so cool out. i love the fall, its definitely my favorite season besides summer. i really just wish i was hanging out with new girls because i need to find someone that i really care about and like. ive been thinking about this girl that i met 2 summers ago but she doesnt even live close to me, it sucks. shes so cute and beautiful and nice. i dunno =/. whatever, people probably call me emo and all that shit but i really dont care because i know i have a lot of feelings. i just really enjoy getting everything out. i dont understand how there can be so many girls my age in this area and i cant find one. theres this other girl that i really wish i went about differently with. shes so cute but now she has a bf. o well. i blew a lot of chances, i didnt think of it at all when i hung out with her but now i do. when i get a job im gonna be so happy, im going to have money and i can get whatever the fuck i want, i can go anywhere i want, and do anything i want. i cant fucking wait.

bands that i cant stop listening to: all time low (so wrong its right), the maine, metro station (self titled), blink 182 (enema of the state/take of your pants)